Some people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth. Those people, according to Baron von Links, are ‘the working class’. While we’re on the subject of cutlery metaphors, however, you might care to think of the von Links as a ‘baroque platinum spoon designed to crack soft-boiled Andalucian Quail’s eggs’ kind of family. To put it simply: if they were any more blue-blooded, they’d be reptilian.
Deep down in the heart of every human lies fear. A strand of cool, clamminess lining every person’s dio nucleic double-helixes. It lives at the base of our spines and at the back of our necks. It rejects sweet nothings and embraces sour everythings in every pupil dilation and quickened heartbeat, saying:
At first glance, Paige Turner and the Great White Shark don’t seem to have all that much in common - one is warm and full of laughter, the other is cold and full of deep sea fishermen - but they do share one specific trait: if they stopped moving, they’d die.
Whenever you hear someone talk about ‘that guy’ (as in ‘did you go to that guy’s party’ or ‘did you hear what that guy was saying last night’) there’s a good chance that someone is speaking about Cid Tayside (Citations). Cid is the common denominator; the single mutual Facebook friend shared by you and long, lost Amazonian tribespeople. He makes social butterflies look like standoffish caterpillars.
Some question are simply so fundamental - so pivotal to our existence - that we never consider considering them:
Imagine the scene: A plump middle-aged man, novelty-suspenders straining over crisp white shirt, bursts through the heavy double-doors of an industrial printers.